Hi Friend,
When you’re preparing for a baby or navigating those blurry early days of parenthood, everyone checks in on the baby. Is the baby sleeping? Is the baby eating? Is the baby hitting milestones?
But how often is someone checking in on you? Like really checking in.
There’s a lot of talk about the "pregnancy glow" and the magical "postpartum bliss," but the reality can feel a whole lot messier. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, detached, or just not like yourself, you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.
Let’s talk about what’s actually happening behind the scenes with perinatal and postpartum mental health, what signs to look out for, and how therapy can help you feel like yourself again.
First Things First: What Do "Perinatal" and "Postpartum" Even Mean?
These terms get tossed around a lot in therapy circles, but in plain English:
Perinatal: This covers the entire journey from the moment you become pregnant through the first year after giving birth.
Postpartum: This specifically refers to the time after childbirth (usually focusing on that first year).
When we talk about perinatal and postpartum mental health, we’re talking about the emotional and psychological shifts that can happen anywhere along that timeline.
Perinatal and Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) can happen during pregnancy or up to a year after the baby arrives. They can also affect partners, adoptive parents, and non-birthing parents!
What Does It Actually Feel Like? (The Symptoms)
PMADs don't look the same for everyone. Society often tells us that struggle looks like crying in a dark room, but it frequently shows up in much sneakier ways.
Here are some of the common ways symptoms manifest:
Anxiety: You might feel constantly on edge, have a racing heart, or find yourself trapped in a loop of "what-if" scenarios. You might find it impossible to sleep even when the baby is sleeping because your brain won't turn off.
Depression: This can feel like a heavy blanket. You might feel deep sadness, numb, unconnected to the baby, or guilty that you aren't feeling the "instant bond" everyone talks about. It may feel like a lack of hope or excitement about the future.
Rage and Irritability: This is a big one that people rarely talk about. Snapping over small things, feeling a surge of sudden intense anger, or feeling like you're constantly about to boil over.
Intrusive Thoughts: Scary, unwanted, vivid images or thoughts about bad things happening to the baby or yourself.
Feeling Invisible or Lost: Looking in the mirror and wondering, "Who even am I anymore?"
How therapy helps
Taking the step to reach out for support when you’re already running on empty can feel overwhelming, but therapy isn't about giving you a long to-do list or telling you how to parent. Instead, it’s a dedicated, judgment-free space created entirely for you. It is a place where you can say the hard things out loud without worrying about being misunderstood or criticized. Whether you're harboring guilt, feeling angry, or struggling with scary intrusive thoughts, a therapist helps take the power away from those heavy emotions by giving you tools to disarm them.
Working with a therapist allows you to process the massive identity shift that comes with parenthood, making room to grieve your old life while gently stepping into this new chapter. Beyond deep emotional processing, therapy gives you practical grounding techniques you can use in the middle of a chaotic day, alongside tools to help you communicate your needs to your partner or support system.
With the right support you can feel like yourself again.
I’m Victoria and I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (aka a therapist). I work with anxiety, depression, trauma, and perinatal and postpartum mental health in Utah and Virginia. To schedule a consultation or book a session, click here.
Thanks for joining!
